Once when I was skydiving I got caught in a tree about 70ft from the ground. The fire department was called but didn't have a ladder long enough and we were told that the army were due to conduct some sort of exercises in the area and I had to get out of there. I was being brave and joking for a while but had a little private melt down after about 45mins, luckily no one knew and I was heralded as brave. I didn't want to admit to my melt down because no one wanted to deal with the fact that I was a grizzling baby, much better for all of us to believe I was brave.
Another time I will always remember was when my eldest son was in intensive care for trying to kill himself and I rang my Mum. I just wanted to curl up in a ball in her arms and sob. She told me " put your head up and your shoulders back and go in there (to ICU) and deal with whatever you must!" I will always remember her words.
That is what I have to do now with my husband sick with cancer 600kms away and and my dear old mum becoming frailer every day. My daughter isn't helping look after him any more and I am alone but for one son who works away 2 weeks in 3. So now I must juggle my time between the two and I am scared to death that something will happen to Mum while I am away. I am also scared of flying, scared of losing him, scared I won't measure up or will make stupid mistakes. Scared to admit to being scared because so many wonderful brave people cope with so much more every day!
|my brothers car after the accident that he hasnt recoverred from yet|
|the world is still a beautiful place!|